Past

by Nathan Walker

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1.
2.
04:25
3.
06:10
4.
05:58
5.
6.
04:17
7.
8.
9.
07:00
10.
04:18
11.
04:50
12.
05:33

credits

released June 4, 2016

Written, mixed and produced by Nathan Walker

Mastered by Patrick Mulrooney

Performed by Nathan Walker, Shane Palko, Patrick Mulrooney, Joyce Mulrooney, Sarah Linde, and Ian Palkovitz

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Nathan Walker Newark, Delaware

Interested in expressing ideas and emotions through the incredibly beautiful medium of music.

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Contact Nathan Walker

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Track Name: Lacking an Ideal Destination
Am I doing this right?
I assign my destiny with romanticized abstractions
Is there a better way to live my life
than point myself in a direction
Lacking an ideal destination
Track Name: Altruism
Can’t stop, I can’t help it, I see no other way
Like a child, desire the light of day
Only to shine on my face
Only to shine on my face

Short sighted, I can’t help it
I can’t see your pain, I have no grace
For your heartache
I feel nothing at all
I feel nothing at all

I’ll be obsessed with something other than myself
Because the subject of my thoughts is never someone else
You may not think that we are capable of this
But I don’t care
I won’t stop trying until I’m dead

Take me higher than where I am
I’m not good enough to be
considered selfless in any way
I know who I was made to be
I can see heaven from where I stand
But it’s so far away

I’ll be obsessed with something other than myself
Because the subject of my thoughts is never someone else
You may not think that we are capable of this
But I don’t care
I won’t stop trying until I’m dead
Track Name: Diagrams
There are plans that you’ve drawn out with hesitant hands
Everything that you wanted and you hope that someone can
Be the one that holds you and gives you everything he has
Takes the plans that you’ve drawn out
Takes the time to understand you

There he is to steal your heart again
You look at each other’s diagrams
And try to explain the best you can
All the things that you intend
But soon, to your dismay
You find that his heart is so far away
From what you thought

There’s truth in this sentiment and it’s out of our control
No one understands you
No one one can see your soul
No one else can read your plans
What you wrote with shaky hands
Illegible drawings that only you can comprehend

There he is to steal your heart again
You look at each other’s diagrams
And try to explain the best you can
All the things that you intend
Track Name: Damage
I keep trying to sing but can only scream
I can’t reach what I’m supposed to be
There’s dirt in the gears of my soul
I long for more control
But I don’t know myself at all

The only thing I consider a loss
Is the damage to you that I’ve caused

There’s forms of dying I haven’t known yet, but I’ve felt a few
They teach me experience is a treasure and a tool
Security is a pretense that covers the truth
Adventure is not meaningless and safety is the ruse of death

The only thing I consider a loss
Is the damage to you that I've caused

Please don’t despise me for what I’ve done
God knows I hate it enough
I’ll forgive you the same when the time comes for you to come undone

The only thing I consider a loss
Is the damage to you that I've caused
Track Name: Communication
Please be gracious as I stumble through these phrases
I tried to give them meaning but you’re still empty handed
There’s everything that you need to hear and all the things that I want to say
There’s a blurry line where I’ve tried to make them meet
But it only ends in dissatisfaction and deceit

I’ll communicate to you all my hopes and fears through this inadequate medium
Please know that I still want you here
But talking gives me a headache

There’s plenty of kindness to share here if it could only find its way to your ear
You’re better at this than I am and I can’t let this inequality stand so
I’ll change my method of transfer over to something greater
I’m not sure what it’ll be yet, but anything is better than my words

I’ll communicate to you all my hopes and fears through this inadequate medium
Please know that I still want you here
But talking gives me a headache

Repeating the phrase we know so well
It becomes redundant, but we can’t stop now
There’s nothing else left between you and me
Than speaking decidedly
Than speaking decidedly
I love you
Track Name: In Due Time
Sometimes I find
Being under the darkened sky
Flickering lights grace the horizon and settle my mind
They are the subject of my wandering eyes

The ground sighs
Curtains close on sustained goodbyes
When the wind has subsided and the air is still in due time
It all will be still in due time

In due time

In my soul
All the questions I ask myself
Stand alone and their outlines burn into my eyes
And I pray that I find the answers in due time
I pray that I find the answers in due time
Track Name: No One Understands
When I look at the sky the sunshine
Is just a massive source of light pollution
That keeps us from seeing past its glare

When all the people sing of careless things
My heart sinks a little farther
Because the hope I found, I found it past the darkness

I am afraid that no one understands

When everyone sleeps
I step outside and see the most beautiful night
The most beautiful night

I am afraid that no one understands
Track Name: Things that Never Last
I’ve got no time
The light is fading fast
I’m spending my whole life
On things that never last

I know where I want to be as the sun sets tonight
It’s too far for me to see past the coastal skyline
As the ocean steals the light
And brings the everlasting night

I’ve got no time
The light is fading fast
I’m spending my whole life
On things that never last

My affairs end before they start with a disappointed sigh
Substance evades my wanting heart, not sure what else to try
As the ocean steals the light
And brings the everlasting night
Still comes the everlasting night

Sprinting into the ocean’s tide sand whipping through the air
No distraction of any kind could distance me from there

I’ve got no time
I’ve got no time
I’ve got no time
For things that never last
Track Name: Collapse
When I feel danger I’m not scared at all
Because if I collapse, if I crumble and fall
The world still turns, the world still turns
The world still turns

When we are accustomed to this kind of grief
It’s not so strange anymore
But there’s willful ignorance in all our belief
That it might someday happen to me
It will someday happen to me
And it shows me how I’m not ready
When will I be, when will I be
Will I be
Will I be

When I feel danger I’m not scared at all
Because if I collapse, if I crumble and fall
The world still turns, the world still turns
This river will sweep me away from here
Just like it took you God knows where
last year

There’s not always tragedy in death
I walk on stones piled one on another
By hands now uninspired by anyone’s breath
But we can’t see that when we look at each other
We can’t see that when we look at each other

I’m not scared at all

When I feel danger I’m not scared at all
Because if I collapse, if I crumble and fall
The world still turns, the world still turns
This river will sweep me away from here
Just like it took you God knows where
last year
Track Name: Care Free
Care free
I want to live care free
Care free
I’m not listening anymore

I’m not listening
Your words are useless things
Trouble’s so far away ‘till I give in to you

I’m not listening
The mirror says back to me
Shifting my being when my worry defines me

Care free
I want to live care free
Care free
I’m not listening anymore

Talking to myself
I feel like someone else has taken control
Over reacting to all
The things that occupy the forefront of my mind
Are worthless little things so I’ll stop listening
Track Name: One Second
When you break all the clocks
And you shut all the doors

There’s no more sound to consider
Your mind is free to wander

You will know that this life is precious
And time’s just as well without us

Pray that this doesn’t pass you by
For the heart beats just one moment at a time

There’s no guarantees or second tries
The heart beats just one moment at a time

The heart beats just one second at a time

Dismember all your worries
Leave them scattered on the floor
Get up now, and hurry
When you leave lock the door

Life will begin for us
Once we know that our time is short

Take his Spirit with you
Let it guide and direct you
Hope that your heart will beat
For one moment more
Track Name: Alive
Teach me to love you
The way you loved me
When you suffered and died
To make me clean

Show me your mercy
Give me your strength
To be full of your love
Every day

Surround me in your arms
God I need you
Fill me with your kindness
And change my selfish heart
Your love is the only thing that makes me feel alive

Speak to my soul, Lord
Help me to see
I'm blinded by my fear
To endless opportunity

Surround me in your arms
God I need you
Fill me with your kindness
And change my selfish heart
Your love is the only thing that makes me feel alive